my chest is small so i can’t afford to get too much off….
and while i could just stop there…
i’m going to vent some more…
I’m going to talk about the downside of blogging
(One of the only downsides…in my opinion.
husband’s opinion would be different…
like when he comes home to find the dining room in the living room so i can have a photo shoot.
or when i “watch” a movie with him and i’m checking my email and instagramming.
or when I’m up at 3 in the morning cause i forgot about a guest post.
but the downside to me is one thing.
specifically: mean comments.
I have gotten quite a few recently. (i average about 1 a month)
and i get mad. vent to my husband. think of all the things i WANT to say. then delete it and get over it.
cause life is too short right?
(i did share a few at the beginning of the blog but mostly cause they were funny…)
but the one i received of late is finally the straw on the camel’s back.
and why I won’t share who or exactly what was said…
it did imply my 10 year old looked slutty and hookerish.(exact words..slutty and hookerish)
(and my favorite part was the “no offense” before it.)
and I guess i just don’t understand.
I think it’s hard to find time to comment on people’s posts…when i LOVE the project.
so I think it’s absolutely crazy that people take time out of their busy lives to write up comments that are hurtful.
life’s too short.
i’m a happy fluffy person. i hate confrontation. it rattles me and ruins my day)
and i thought about taking comments off –but i have been directly emailed. I have been private messages on facebook…and twitter.
so there really is no way around it.
and i know i know…i have put my life out there…and i have not kept this blog 100% crafts. I have brought in my family. my kids are my models, and my reason for most of my crafts. i have vented about my husband. i have talked religion. i have shared.
and i KNOW that people don’t agree with everything i say (my husband doesn’t agree with HALF i say)
as well as I don’t agree with other people.
But I would no way be all like, “yo. that room you decorated is uglllllly (said like whoopi goldberg hyena in lion king)
what were you thinking?”
cause my momma taught me that if you don’t have anything nice to say…than don’t say anything at all.
cause life’s too short.
We all have different tastes. different opinions. different parenting styles.
it’s what makes the world go round.
If everyone had the same home decorating taste…man. pinterest would be boring!
I have had people tell me i am a bad mormon (and after i deleted the comment (cause it’s my blog and i don’t want it on there and it’s my right) they came back and rewrote it)
i have had people tell me the curtain fabric i chose was hideous.
or that my curtains were hung to low and didn’t look good.
Or that i’m a horrible mother cause i posted a picture of my 3 year old without her shirt on (which– excuse me…i’m super sorry that my mind didn’t even go to pedophiles– and have you seen the naked babies photography on pinterest?)
(i have since taken down the picture…cause it’s not like i’m trying to attract that kind of attention)
but what gets me is this…If that lady would have said, i don’t think that picture is appropriate you might draw the wrong crowd with it… “I would have said thank you for bringing to my attention.”
instead she treated me like i had her on dating website.
Let me tell you story. I love the real housewives..of everywhere.
are the end ones with andy.
When basically Andy asks them questions and they say one thing and then they pull up the video of their interview and it shows Teresa going off about her sister in law.
it’s like they forget that they are on national tv and being recorded. like the things they say in their “private interviews” won’t be seen by the person they are talking about .
They wouldn’t say it their face..but they will say it to the camera–and when confronted with it in front of the person they do the stutter and back tracking and trying to act like it was just a joke or something.
(i love that part!!! Teresa said, I was complimenting you! and flash to the end of her interview she’s all, “did i roll my eyes too much?”)
that really has nothing to do with anything other than I think people forget that once crap is out there..it’s out there.
you can’t take it back.
and i think people have an easier time saying things because they are hiding behind their computers. I don’t know these people. i don’t know where they live. i can’t tell their neighbor the snotty things they said. They are relatively safe from any kind of retaliation. (i would toilet paper them soooo bad!)
we have a quote on our wall….a motto we live by in this house
what i’m trying to say is…
life is TOO SHORT.
We bloggers are people. we make mistakes, we make ugly crafts. or say rude things (unintentionally). we are human. we are not perfect. we have real feelings that get real hurt.
I’m not trying to start a war..or controversy…just needing to let it out!
thanks for letting me vent!!
Allison D says
People can be assholes. I’m sorry they were mean to you and to say that about your daughter is terrible. Keep up the great work over here – I love it!
I think you are awesome! Just think of the thousands of people who don’t comment and think your posts are great. A rude person saying a mean thing? That says way more about them than you. Sad little people! AGAAGG rocks. Period.
McKenzie @ Girl Loves Glam says
Oh Kim! I’m so sorry you have to deal with mean people! It really is the worst part about blogging. I love you, I think you are incredibly talented, you are probably the most driven and creative person I know, and you are one HELL of an awesome mom. Find out where this person lives and I’ll TP the house with you!
Your kids are adorable. And I’ve never once looked at a picture of your daughter and thought “she shouldn’t be wearing that” (but if I had, I wouldn’t have posted it), I’ve always thought “That looks so cute!” or some variation of that (or what a lucky girl to have a mom like that!). And I feel bad that I haven’t posted what I thought more often, because I always think good things when I look at your blog 🙂
I’ve taught my children that if you preface your statement with “no offense” then you shouldn’t say it. I’m sorry that those meanies are bugging you now. For every one of them, there’s 5,000 of us nice, supportive well-trained folks that love what you do.
Mandy @ Sugar Bee Crafts says
Mean people really do suck! But good for you for brushing it off and moving on. Life IS too short! 🙂
Sorry you had to deal with that, Kim! My blog is still on the small side so I haven’t attracted too much negative attention, but I know it is only a matter of time. I do not know why people spend their time saying rude things. You are so right about not even having time to comment on blogs I love, nonetheless the ones I don’t love! I do think people forget that there are ‘real’ people behind the blogs. And it is much easier to talk behind someone’s back than to say something to her face. Don’t remove your comments. Comments are one of my favorite parts of being a blogger (normally). I love commenting and interacting with my readers and with other bloggers. I am sure you feel the same way!
I want to seriously start punching people in the face, reading this. Holy cow some people are PSYCHO. Who takes the time to email someone their snooty witchy opinion? And you’re exactly right– it’s haggy women who feel jealous who are hiding behind their monitors thinking they can say whatever they want without any consequences. Ew.
I’m sorry. I think the more popular you are the more people have to be mean, so there’s that. I told the last person who left me a snotty comment (not even a hundredth as bad as what you just explained) that they would have lost a nut if I was in the same room with them. Not my best moment.
I find it so amazing that anyone would leave such comments! I mean seriously. If people have a problem with you or your blog, there’s a simple solution: STOP READING! But no, they feel it is their personal mission to bring you down. WHY?! And the “No offense” thing is the biggest load of BS.
Hang in there. For every one meanie, there are dozens of people who think you’re awesome.
wow! i was just talking to some of my blogging friends about this very thing today. i got a mean comment and just wondered…why? so not necessary!!
Oh Kim. My dear, sweet bloggy friend, you are so right. What is up with these trolls? Don’t they have anything better to do? You are so talented and so funny!! I could sit down and read your blog all day because you make me laugh! I love all of your ideas and you projects turn out amazing. I’m so sorry about this but you must move on because you are above it all!
Kari @ The Sunset Lane says
So, I don’t comment on your blog enough. Mainly because I have sucky internet and it’s like really expensive dial-up. Back to your post. I don’t use this word lightly….forget anything that dumb cunt said and know that you are fantastic and your daughter is beautiful. She is just a crab ass old curmugeon that probably has 500 cats. That is all I have to say about that.
Honestly, I thnk bloggers have taken the high road for too long now, and sure, life is short and perhaps it would be petty, but I think it’s time these trolls got a taste of their own hate. I would post a weekly round up of haters email addresses on my social media sites and let my supporters have at em.
Some people have tutu much time on their hands and it’s sad what happens when they can’t just take up a hobby. It’s easy to be a bully when you are sitting behind a computer, but it’s not right. Don’t let those jerks get you down!
So sorry for your heartache, Kim 🙁 Love that quote you’ve got on your wall- you are awesome! I really hope this post helped you feel better and that people can just be better to you in general 🙂 Aren’t you glad you’re not in their shoes, having to leave mean comments for the sake of some twisted inner emotion that trumps their real happiness and ability? YOU are living life amazingly and they will NEVER win 🙂
Erin Maree says
I feel for you! Some people need to learn to keep their mouths shut (if not you could always shut them for them using some awesome coloured duct tape haha!). I have grown up consistently under peoples judgement my Dad is a Baptist pastor, and so many times I have had people tell me my skirt is too short (it was just above my knee), I shouldn’t watch that show or read that book (my parents mostly trust my judgement and if they don’t we discuss it), I am wearing too much make up (it was eyeliner and mascara!) the list goes on. I have learnt to block off these people but there are times when they really hurt me and I tell them but its not easy as they don’t always see where I am coming from.
I haven’t seen any pics of your kids looking sluttish, they look modest and the clothes suit them well 🙂 Your crafts are always amazing (I loved the barbie house you did and can’t wait to use that idea when I have kids some day!) and so are you 🙂
People are always going to judge over the internet but the reality is take away their computer and they have no voice!
Keep up the awesome crafts can’t wait to see what you have install for Christmas 🙂
I’m so sorry you’ve had these comments lately who really knows why the feel the need but I can say I’ve loved you and your blog for years now, you have a lovely family and you inspired me to start my own blog. You’ve vented try not to give it anymore of your time because then they win and they shouldn’t….easier said than done, I know.
What people need to remember is that everyone is different…..and that is a great thing! What works for one person may not work for another. And we have all come across things we don’t like or wouldn’t use, but you don’t tell them you don’t like it! (Unless maybe if it is your BFF!) People need to learn to just be nice, stop being competitive, and embrace the differences. And pray for the naysayers, they must be going through a hard time to have so much anger in their heart.
Mean people do suck. Keep your chin up buttercup! We love having your share your craft/life with us. You find the neatest things. Love it.
Kaye Rickert says
Hi Kim, I just had to make a comment on your blog! I hope to start my own blog soon and it is always interesting to hear what other people have got to say. I get that this sort of thing makes you sick. I think I am much like you and continually see only the good in people and then get so disappointed when things like this happen. But, you hang in there because these people are but a grain of sand in the world and not worth a second thought. Congratulations on your blog. Kaye x
One thing I don’t get about this kind of people is if they don’t agree with what you say/do/think/believe/post, why on earth would they waste their precious and holy time in following your posts? And what the heck goes on these people’s mind to think they can say whatever they want and that’s ok? Even when we don’t agree with something/someone, we MUST respect people’s right to be different. I’m really sorry you have to deal with sick souls, cause that’s what they are to me. I hope and pray they realize how wrong they are by being so rude. Although I never make comments I love your blog. Hugs from Brazil.
Life at Purple Gate Farm says
Girl…Let er rip! I hear ya. I get them too. I dont get it either? Why are people so mean? One thing I keep telling myself is this….I blog to help inspire others, as small as my blog is, and MY BLOG is right on with my real, everyday authentic self, life. I dont sugar coat it, make it up…Sure there are things I dont share with the world. But when I do. My intentions were to help, and inspire. Shew! Thanks for getting that off my chest too. See? It helps!
Kim, I have never commented on your blog because that’s just not my thing but I feel I had to comment on this… You are awesome at what you do!!! 9 times out of 10 I love what you post, love the way you word them, and love the pictures!!! Don’t let the mean ones get you down because you really never know how you make some of your days just with your post and being you!!! Keep doing your thing!!!
My mum taught me something that I think to this day and will teach my boys when they’re old enough to understand and it is this: What other people think of me is none of my business. Not to say that mean words still don’t hurt, but this helps ease the blow for me. As long as I know I’m not doing anything to hurt anyone, I know I’m okay and their mean comments are their reality and not mine. Too bad for them. Keep up the great blogging!
Thank you! It was a great post! Go ahead vent some more!
Mel P. says
Amen, and Amen!!
Man, that stinks. You do a wonderful job of sharing so graciously and the majority of the people appreciate it. Please don’t let the few hurtful people bring you down. I find that those people are the ones that need prayer the most. Who knows why they are so mean..so just say a little prayer for them and let God handle it. And then continue ue on being who you are! God bless you!
Emily @ The Benson Street says
Kim, I hate when people are like that. Your post is such a good reminder to watch what we say and think before we say it. Life is too short to try and hurt and ruin others. Thanks for being an awesome example!
It’s so awful that people would say such mean things! Especially when you are taking time out of your day to post amazing projects and crafts that you made! Just brush off those meanies and know that everyone loves the stuff you post!
On a side note, I had a dream that you moved into my neighborhood and I was completely star struck! And all I wanted to do is be your best friend! A girl can always dream, right?
Shannon Staker says
I AM SO SORRY!!! As a blogger, I to get those ridiculous comments. I leave them up… my real followers let them have it for me!!! It amazes me the lack of tact and class people possess now days… behind the computer or not… I recently had no other than my bishops wife say something that really hurt my feelings through a text message? Apparantly any type of screen protects you now… I’ve written a post about it and its sat in my drafts…but I think you’ve given me the courage to post it…. its called what happened to the Human Races Filter???
Our styles are pretty different. It was clear to me when we were competing in sytyc, man that was forever ago, and we all got some bruttle feedback that year… it about broke me… but not once did either if us, or any of the contestants (except one, who ironically doesn’t blog anymore) point fingers at anyone else… you just don’t do that.
So to end my scattered novel. BE NICE PEOPLE.AND LEAVE KIM ALONE. SHE ROCKS THIS WORLD. AND GOSH DANG IT. HER HUSBAND AND KIDS MUST BE AMAZING BECAUSE SHE IS!
You are absolutely, positively 100% correct! I LOVE seeing what you come up with next. You’re a great Mom, and a wonderful LDS person and missionary!
Toni - Design Dazzle says
You are AWESOME!!
Vent away friend! Thanks for sharing this! It has become increasingly obvious to me that (1) some people’s mother’s never taught them the rule of “if you cant say something nice, don’t say anything at all” and (2) they choose to ignore the golden rule of “treat others how you would like to be treated”. Good for you for being the bigger person…it would be very tempting for me to respond to unkind comments with unkindness in return. You are doing great 🙂
I have been following your blog since… well.. forever; at least 4 years. You do some AWESOME craftiness! The opinions of HAGILICIOUS women, while meaningless, are the ones that stick to our psyche. I would say, “don’t let it get to you,” but that is SOOO easier said than done. You have an awesome blog AND a beautiful family! I had my sister of all people message me on Facebook to remove a picture of one of my boys… he had literally scribbled on his bum and it was hilarious! I posted the pic, mind you, his face was not in the pic I posted. My sister messaged me on the public board to take down the pic before the FBI comes to my house and charges me with child pornography. I removed the post, but it still bothers me that she said something like that… especially not privately. Kim, some people just do not have any manners or tact. Don’t let those jealous, meaningless hags ruin your day… besides they are the ones following and reading YOUR lovely blog. If they don’t want to see the things they don’t like, than these people could unsubscribe instead of saying harsh words. Keep your chin up! You motivate so many of us to craft and think out of the box!
I’m really glad you wrote this. I have come across WAY too many rude and un-called-for comments on blogs recently and it’s too much! It’s ok to have an opinion…NEVER ok to call someone’s children what they called yours. I am so sorry. Being nice is so much better than not being nice!
Theresa in Texas says
So sorry that you have to deal with these small-minded “meanies.” Unfortunately, it seems that our society is becoming coarser and meaner in almost every way day by day. I see so much of it among the kids I teach–I sometimes think that “verbal” bullying can be more hurtful than physical bullying. There was someone who lived a couple of thousand years ago that gave us a rule for how we should treat each other: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” If everyone tried to follow that rule, we would have no bullying, no wars, no murders, no mean blog comments, etc. etc. etc.
And I love your blog! I hope it is OK if I make some bookmarks using “Four Things You Can’t Recover,” and I will definitely use one of them myself!
God bless you and your family!
Sue S. says
Mean people really do suck! Don’t take it to heart. I was brought up to not say anything if you can not say something nice. But it is hard to hold it in. I worked in retail on the front lines as a Customer Service Supervisor/Cashier. I have seen it all and heard it all. I almost got into a fist fight with some lady who decided to touch my face as she insulted me. OMG. I was on the phone already to dial the police, when the manager stepped in. So I can really relate to what you’re going through. Life is too short. Just hang in there. There are a lot of people out there that are really nice. Now when it comes to your children, I really would have let loose on them. They have no right to say anything about anyone. My daughter is handicapped. She is deaf and mentally delayed. People and children can really be rude and unkind. I have lived with this for 35 years so I know. But as I said before, just hang in there. Have a better day and a HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If a sentence begins with “No offense, but…”, then it i something that should not be said. There is enough mean in day to day life, it does not need to be brought online too. You are awesome and you do awesome!
you know what’s funny (ok not funny, but you know what I mean) it has never once occurred to me to write a mean or hateful comment on anyone’s blog. Not only because I too was raised with the “if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all” mantra but because I considered blogs (or at least the ones I look at, I know there are some negative ones out there) a place for positivity. A place to encourage other crafters & moms. We are hard enough on ourselves the last thing I think any blogger out there needs is for me to tell them the fabric they chose is ugly. What business is it of mine what fabric they put their child in or chose to make their curtains. It’s not for my child and the curtains aren’t in my house. In my opinion if you are spreading negativity on blogs then you shouldn’t be reading them in the first place. Some people should find other things to do with their time, something more constructive. I love reading your blog, don’t let those negative comments get you down. Stay positive, this world is full of negativity we don’t need it in our happy place of blogging:)
I’m so sorry that you have been hurt. Some people feel the need to say what they think without a filter and think that it’s okay. If they don’t like you or your blog then just stop following it. Don’t let them get you down.
Just remember, people who “suck” truly have their own issues. Your blog is amazing and incredibly inspirational. Keep your head up and don’t let those mean people affect your day. I love your crap!
crazy!! I don’t get it… I’m the kind to just not say anything if I don’t like a post.craft.etc… so I JUST.DONT.GET. IT… why people would say hurtful things… but I guess it happens to us all… Its the same all around the web… have you read some comments on seemingly fine youtube videos? Peopel are crazy with the comments :o) anyway… I hear you… and I love that you wrote this :o) Emily
Laura / The Shed by Pet Scribbles says
Bravo! Excellent post!
I love your site and your posts. This post really touched home for me as I’ve experienced this recently with my business and personally to me. I think sometimes people forgot that there are real people on the receiving end of their comments. At least that’s always my hope, I don’t want to think that they’re just plain mean- I’m staying with my Pollyanna approach 🙂 Please keep doing what you do, you bring so much joy, inspiration, and laughter to my life. When I stumbled upon your blog a few years ago I remember feeling like I’d found a real mom who I could relate to. You rock!
It takes a small person to write what that person wrote to you. I feel sorry for small people like that because they obviously have problems of their own and are trying to make themselves feel bigger by being hurtful to others they perceive to be better than they are…they need to bring you down to make themselves feel better. You are doing a great job with your blog and I love passing on your crafts to my daughter for her to use for my granddaughters – don’t get to do that any more because she now follows you too! People need to remember that they are not totally anonymous on the internet and if anyone really wanted to find someone, they can trace your IP address right back to your computer! I’m sorry you were the target of this attack – you really don’t deserve it at all.
Haley Grossman says
Yeah…it really sucks whether in blog land or the real world when someone insults you….but it especially sucks for moms when they insult our parenting or our character in general. and no matter how much someone says to forget about it, or who cares….it doesn’t quite work like that. I love your blog….and one of the reasons I love it so much is bc u are not trying to be prim and proper, you are not trying to have perfect grammar and the most perfect projects. I like it bc it’s stuff normal people can actually make, while also being fun to read. thanks for being yourself…that’s what counts.
I was raised the same as you – if you cannot say something nice, keep your mouth shut. Remember that of the one negative comment a month or so (I believe you wrote), you get many many more people that prefer to check your blog because they like what you do! Just keep on deleting those negative comments and carry on knowing that there are many more positive thoughts coming your way.
I love your guts and think your sight is awesome. Your sense of humor always makes me smile, even when I’m having a bad day. I’m sorry the jerks are harassing you. Just know that 99.9% of us think that you are amazing!
I am working on starting a blog and this is one of the only things that makes me not want to do it – not because I cannot deal with criticism, but because I find the meanness so disheartening and cannot believe that people seem to relish the opportunity to put someone else down. Here’s to kindness and compassion and keeping our mouths shut when the first two fail us!
Jolyn Evans says
I really love your site and your posts. Here is a little something I got from my brother when I was feeling like you were. I hope brightens your day.
The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention. How you make others feel about themselves, says a whole lot about you. So treat people right. Kindness IS a gift you can afford to give. Be the sweetness in someone’s bitterness and the light in someone’s darkness. Always be kinder than you feel. Be kinder to them then you think they deserve. You be the bigger person.
This is beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing. I agree wholeheartedly! If everyone would put all the time and energy into just being nice to one another rather than into being smarmy or mean what a difference social media could make! Really really love this!?